So many of my friends seem to have problems with their children going to sleep and staying asleep. As we all know, there are various "solutions" to this problem mostly involving a cry it out approach and the so called "self soothing". Now I ask you, how can a baby be expected to self soothe after spending nine months in the womb and all of a sudden being cold and alone in a strange place! As adults, a lot of us read or watch TV as a "self soothing" approach, for want of a better word. But a baby or toddler cannot read yet and TV is not exactly the optimal self soother.
When Mackenzie was born, I really tried putting her to sleep in her cot but I used to put my hand on her and sleep in a very akward position to keep it there. It wasn't long and I had her in my arms in my bed and there she slept for the first few months of her life and then graduated to just lying next to me. I breastfed her so it was just so much easier to feed her when she was next to me and as a result the whole family got more sleep. I was criticised by so many people but she is now 5 and reads herself to sleep and sleeps in her own bed. Make no mistake, she still hops in with us whenever she feels like it but I can honestly say that she sleeps really well. Reagan was in my bed from day 1 and she now, at the age of 19months, sleeps straight through the night in her own cot which is still in my room. Both kids are asleep by half past seven at night and they don't stir until about half past six or seven the next morning.
Now I am not saying that you have to put your baby to sleep in your bed, but if we really think about it and read all the research, this type of parenting, which is still considered normal in a lot of countries, and which is now referred to as "attachment parenting", is making a comeback in a lot of homes. Why? I think it is because parents are starting to realise that children need your closeness and love more than any toy or holiday or any other worldly object. We all need to start doing what feels natural and right and stuff what the experts say, or what the baby books say or what your mother in law says, our children need sleep to build healthy bodies and minds and we as their parents need to lovingly guide them into this and not force them to "self soothe" by letting them cry it out, we need to nurse and nurture our children so we can build a nation of self assured, considerate and loving kids instead of the selfish, rude and whiny children we seem to be bringing up these days.
Now a lot of you will probably disagree with my thinking but if you really think about it, isn't it worth a try, just to see your children sharing and loving and smiling instead of fighting and crying because they are sleep deprived. So what are you going to choose?
When Mackenzie was born, I really tried putting her to sleep in her cot but I used to put my hand on her and sleep in a very akward position to keep it there. It wasn't long and I had her in my arms in my bed and there she slept for the first few months of her life and then graduated to just lying next to me. I breastfed her so it was just so much easier to feed her when she was next to me and as a result the whole family got more sleep. I was criticised by so many people but she is now 5 and reads herself to sleep and sleeps in her own bed. Make no mistake, she still hops in with us whenever she feels like it but I can honestly say that she sleeps really well. Reagan was in my bed from day 1 and she now, at the age of 19months, sleeps straight through the night in her own cot which is still in my room. Both kids are asleep by half past seven at night and they don't stir until about half past six or seven the next morning.
Now I am not saying that you have to put your baby to sleep in your bed, but if we really think about it and read all the research, this type of parenting, which is still considered normal in a lot of countries, and which is now referred to as "attachment parenting", is making a comeback in a lot of homes. Why? I think it is because parents are starting to realise that children need your closeness and love more than any toy or holiday or any other worldly object. We all need to start doing what feels natural and right and stuff what the experts say, or what the baby books say or what your mother in law says, our children need sleep to build healthy bodies and minds and we as their parents need to lovingly guide them into this and not force them to "self soothe" by letting them cry it out, we need to nurse and nurture our children so we can build a nation of self assured, considerate and loving kids instead of the selfish, rude and whiny children we seem to be bringing up these days.
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